I really must start building an ark. I just can’t quite afford a yacht, a speedboat or even a rubber dinghy. On the other hand, considering my tendency to topple overboard a floating conveyance, maybe I should invest in a helicopter. Help! The skies are glowering darkly outside even now. The house is being disinfected for the third time.
The Latest Flood started one night with heavy rainfall. I was gazing ruminatively at the oven and waiting for the dinner inside to be done. I just glanced towards the door and suddenly noticed a mini wave approaching me. No, I didn’t panic; I merely went to the door and screeched for the drivers because most inconveniently, the maids were on extended leave. They both came scurrying in the rain, the long and short of it. (One is very tall and one rather munchkin-like.)
The courtyard garden was overflowing into the sitting room and gushing all over. I realised immediately through past experience that the water outlet leading outside was probably blocked by debris. The two guys seemed to be running all over, almost knocking into each other and just shouting. Nothing was happening. I told them to get something to clear the outlet and then suddenly in a very Fawlty Tower-like scene, the tall one charged in wielding a very long pipe. I yelled that wasn’t suitable, an iron rod would be more appropriate, and he turned around to listen to me. I had to duck my head or else I would have got a good thwack from the pipe placed on his shoulder. I couldn’t help but giggle! By this time they were both drenched and I was ankle deep in water. The outlet was cleared, but the downpour was too heavy and the courtyard was still inundated with water.
The sunken bar for drunken folk filled up in a trice. I gingerly trod upstairs and then Dancing Doll came out of her room and ordered me not to set even a toe in the water. She helped the drivers bail out the water, though rather slowly, since she was using a dustpan! Towards midnight the rain had stopped and the house was mopped and we staggered off to bed. I dimly remember it pouring again in about an hour’s time, and then I woke up to the beeping of the car alarm. I immediately called the drivers on their cell phones but there was no response. So I barged through Beautiful Dreamers room to the balcony and saw both of them surveying the vast lake of water which had appeared. After a lot of discussing and yelling, they pushed the vehicle to higher ground. Then they tried to say it was impossible to drive the other vehicles to safety. I bellowed at them to put it in gear and drive quickly out. (I’m not sure if that was the correct advice, but it worked!)
The next task was to raise the fridge and freezer which were full of stuff and so must have been heavy. But they somehow managed to lift them up. Unfortunately, the fridge packed up, and just now Abans workforce informed me our kitchen doors are too narrow to carry it out. They said they had informed a technical team to come and remove the doors of the fridge. Then they would come back tomorrow and remove it. This saga has been going on for the past three days. The bells in the house are not working and there is rather a lot of shouting going on. Some people conveniently pretend to be deaf.
Getting back to the flood, whatever was downstairs was carried upstairs and stored. We staggered to bed exhausted at 4 am and then when my alarm went off at 6 am, I heard B.D.’s voice. I ventured out blearily from my room and was informed that we were well and truly flooded. The vehicle supposed to take us away couldn’t drive through the water. I was nervous that I would fall flat on my face in the muddy water and I refused to walk through. Then two office employees said they would hang on to me and not let me fall. So barefooted and in shorts we waded out together, waist deep in water with our possessions and the neighbours lined up watching in amusement. I hung on for dear life until I reached dry land. We proceeded to my Big Sis’s house, went straight into hot showers and had a jolly nice holiday for the next three days.
— Honky Tonk Woman