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Balderdash

Aug 20, 2011 3:23:11 PM - thesundayleader.lk

Cooking Forever After

Enjoy some excerpts from the diary of a newly married young lady.

Monday:

Home from honeymoon. Everything’s such fun! Thought I’d surprise Sohan this evening with something special. Looked in one of my brand new cookery books and suddenly saw Heavenly Angel Cake. What a coincidence because he calls me his angel! The recipe said it was important to get the freshest eggs, so I went to the Egg Centre and asked if the eggs had been laid this morning. The morons there kept giggling, not answering me. Humph! I asked to see the manager and then one chap gave me some, saying they were still warm from the hen.

Tuesday:

Today Sohan asked if he could bring a friend home to dinner. He asked for string hoppers. Amma showed me how to make them so I said fine. I took my new mould and mats and started nice and early. The batter was too pasty and I couldn’t squeeze it into strings. Then I added more flour but still it didn’t look right and then they all stuck to the mats. I quickly rushed to a kade nearby and bought some. They offered me some chicken curry and sambol so since I was running late I thought I’d take those too. “Machang! Your wife is a good cook,” said Ruwan. I pretended I had made everything.

Wednesday:

Thought I’d do a Chinese meal for dinner tonight. The fried rice recipe said, “Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice.” Rather stupid because I would get sweaty, anyway had a long, leisurely shower and then started on the rice. Why do you have to wash? Today everything will be perfect. I’m good at stir-fries. I added lots of sauce and ajinomoto just like in the restaurants. The veggies were a bit too salty, but I added some sugar. Clever, aren’t I? At dinner, Sohan said it was good. I said I used one whole packet of ajinomoto and he spat out what was in his mouth and said he was allergic to it! Went racing to the hospital emergency section and he got a shot. Bought kotthu on the way back.

Thursday:

Today Sohan asked for a salad for dinner. Ah! That was easy. I chopped and sliced up vegetables and fruit. I had a bottle of salad dressing. The recipe said, “Toss on a bed of lettuce before serving.” So I bought a whole load of lettuce, washed it carefully, and spread it all over the bed. Then I tossed the salad in. I looked closely but it looked the same. Sohan came in and asked me if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed out at work, the poor thing; I must try my best to be supportive.

Friday:

Saw recipe for Prawn and Pineapple flambé. It looked very impressive but easy to prepare. Scooped the flesh out of the pine. Added butter to some vegetables, pineapple, prawns and garlic, then sautéed it. Placed scented candles, set the table and made a floral centrepiece. Dolled up in a romantic, flowing dress. Sohan eyed me strangely. Warmed the stuffed pine shell, then the rum on the fire. Poured it on my creation and lit a match. Help! My sleeve caught fire! I waved it wildly around whilst Sohan kept hitting me rather hard with a serviette. The dinner was yummy, though.

Saturday:

Sohan stared hard at me and asked, “Can you make some macaroni and cheese for dinner?” Oh, puhleeease! Easy peasy. Boiled the macaroni, added cream, cornflour, cheese, garlic, parsley, mustard and topped with breadcrumbs and butter. Put it in the oven to bake. Then akka called me to tell me about the huge fight Chris and Lil had at yesterday’s party, omigosh! Suddenly I noticed smoke. Ran to kitchen, macaroni burnt. Don’t panic, Sohan out for a run. Scraped off most of the burnt bits and grated cheese on top. It was a bit crunchy, and I think I had put in just a little too much of mustard. Sohan held head in hands. He works so hard, poor dear, gave him some panadols.

Sunday:

Sohan said he was still full from Amma’s lunch and could we have omlettes and toast for dinner. How considerate! The toast got a bit burnt and this salt is really strong, omlettes a bit too salty. Sohan started counting to ten. Rehearsing dance steps? But he looked really stressed. I asked if he was okay, and he started crying and shouting, “Why me?” It must be his job!

- Honky Tonk Woman.