by enna da
I'm a stain, or so they claim
because they are so White clean- exceptionally supreme
And I'm not allowed here because I'm dirty
Passengers of MV Sun Sea crowd the deck after spotting HMCS Winnipeg in open seas. (Photograph altered at source.) MCpl Angela Abbey/DND-MDN Canada
Dirty for being in dire need - for requesting fresh air to breathe
But air is not free, they proceed
upon my arrival “the clean” recede
protest my needs, they may just succeed
They may just refuse, my reasoning and story
for the blood I bleed may stain their sleeve
so clean they are, but their blurred vision cant see
I came from within the trashing waves
Crammed inside population that flooded the space
Such small space I could barley move out of place
Dark cold nights, dark memories of our plight…
Survival, my only hope, my only thread of light
put my hand above my chest and shut my eyes tight
“if god exists” let me pray tonight
put me on the shores of Life
Bring me day, end my nights
put me on the shores of sound, of taste, of sight
where others like myself will hear my cries
violent waves I wish you well
carry me safely, carry us all out of this hell
I left everything behind, swallowed my time
and here I’m with nothing but a plea for help
that they claim crime
My homeland lived, within it my home was dust
in the name of rehabilitation time began to rust
her screams beat my ear drums, pierced my gut
another rape - his murderous lust
she cried- strained eyes- clutching her dead child
why was I alive, or was I?
I was desensitized to blood and death and screams that tore the sky
I was tranquilized a little by the lies to reconcile
and It hit me then, I realized how dead I was inside.
So I washed away the blood stains of guilt with passing tides
I know I shouldn’t have left, I should have stuck by their side
But I got nothing to lose now -
no family no home no life.
I’m a witness- mentally beaten- physically numb
I’m a criminal for having been a bystander, but not a terrorist on the run
I have nothing to kill for, nothing of mine still lives
Nothing Sri Lanka’s military hasn't killed already left for me to give
so here I’m empty hands
I can sign my name, and take your laws
just provide for me a place to stand
I apologize for my brown skinned “flaws”
For those of you compassionate enough, please take my sincere thanks
after all I’ll end up working for this country
Adding to its most valuable multicultural diversity
I’ve been racially profiled, targeted, and discriminated against
I already know how it is.
But the only difference here is that I cant be killed for it.
So spit your labels to satisfy your hate
but do it once I pass your gates.
I survived the bombings, the slaughter, the abduction, the mass murders
the fires, the gun shots, the raping of mothers and daughters
I survived the loss of every mother father brother and sister
the blood shed, the tears bled, the broken limbs and torn flesh
I survived the smoke, the hunger, the thirst, the bunkers
then boarded this ship surviving waves, lightening, and thunder
and you think I'm gonna shrivel at the word “terrorist” ?
naming calling is outdated, check the scars on my skin
creep my mind to see where I’ve been
for the sake of being humane try and understand...
and if you still want to send me back…
may the higher power someday forgive your sin.