Ranil Wickremesinghe: A Pimp Or A Prince?

By Jagath Asoka –

Before I write this article, I have a question to ask: Who is the next rent boy? Harsha De Silva? He is beginning to sound like a rent boy.

Well, let’s talk. Some Sri Lankans think Ranil belongs to the cultural elite from a “respectable” family who does not use profanity when he is attacked politically. Yes, he does not use profanity; he just uses thugs like Gonawela Sunil to kill his opponents or beat them senselessly. People who use profanity are the most honest people that I know.

Pimp can be a metaphor, an allegory, a connotation, or a denotation. According to most dictionary definitions, a pimp is a despicable person. When I say Ranil is a pimp, the way you react depends on how sophisticated, nuanced, savvy, asinine, or vulgar you are. I am just a writer and cannot take any credit or blame for your intelligence or stupidity. I do not know about you, but I would not praise any Sri Lankan politician: living, dead, or unborn. If you do not call a political pimp a pimp, then you are a pimp’s pimp. I am not an apologist. When I say Ranil is a political pimp, it is not an a priori statement like “All bachelors are unmarried; it is an a posteriori statement like “It is raining outside now.” Don’t be a pimp to a politician like Rani, Rajapaksas, Sajith, Anura, etc. When you blindly support a politician, you inadvertently become a pimp. Nowadays, pimps are a dime a dozen. If you do not believe me, just check your FB page. It is a universal phenomenon. Stay independent and live with dignity.

Ask yourself, is Ranil a moral, ethical, and virtuous leader? Ranil cannot be the president because people did not elect him; he was selected by his pimps. He has no mandate.

On 09 July 2022, angry Sri Lankans were acting like a violent river that lost control, broke its banks, knocked down trees and buildings, stripped the soil from one place and deposited it somewhere else. It’s recurrent, it’s unavoidable, and it’s unpredictable. It is as unpredictable as a natural disaster, not guided by a benevolent or beneficent hand; it will happen again, soon, and will knock down the parliament.

If Ranil had been an honorable leader, he would have dissolved the parliament in three months and called for elections. Do you think people will elect Ranil as their president? To think that Ranil can bring dollars from the western world is asinine. I will tell you why. When Ranil’s house was burnt down—did Ranil hire people to burn down his own house down—how many world leaders expressed their discontent or sympathy? Zero. What does that tell you? The world leaders know that Ranil is a sleazy character, not a genuine leader, not the savior of Sri Lanka. How many word leaders congratulated Ranil when he was selected? Do you think these same leaders will give free money? Of course, China will give us more loans because when we cannot pay back, they can take all our airports and harbors in a few years.

Look at Ranil’s brainless callipygian cabinet. They have big buttocks, not big brains. Ninety percent of them would not know the answer to a simple math question. If you do not believe me, ask them to divide 2 by 3 without using a calculator and ask them to give their answer instantly. You know very well that these 134 crooks, rapists, pimps, and rent boys cannot stop this violent river. Soon Ranil will make people disappear; soon you will see bodies floating on rivers.

Do you think Ranil’s devious sycophants of murderous pimps can stop people? At the time of the French Revolution, Louis XVI had one of the most powerful armies in the world. Three years later his royal head was lying at the base of a guillotine. His army, gargantuan as it was, could not beat back a united citizenry.

Ordinary people are always deceived by appearances. Where does power come from? Power ultimately comes from those very people who are being deceived. A prince must respect the people; if they hate him, they will get rid of him.

Is it better to be generous or to be miserly? Is it better to be loved or to be feared? Is it better to be cruel or merciful? Is it better to be a fox or a lion? These are Machiavellian questions. Ranil, do not take Machiavelli as your mentor; he was a playwright; his work was probably satire meant to ridicule political pimps like you.

As professor Joan Robinson—a central figure of post-Keynesian economics—said in the early 1960s, Sri Lankans have eaten the fruit before they planted the tree. I disagree with her. It is not the Sri Lankans; it is their corrupt politicians who eat the fruits.

Do you think Ranil and his 134 can handle the greatest economic crisis the country has faced since its independence? Sri Lanka at the time of independence was second only to Japan on most socio-economic indicators in Asia. Experts always say a toxic combination of populist politics and entrenched entitlement culture led to bankruptcy; I think corruption is the main culprit. The key players of the global financial system know about Rajapaksas, Ranil, and the others. They know where these crooks hide all the stolen money. So, do you think western countries are going to give us free money?

If Ranil had been a prince, he would not have done what he did with the central bank when he was in power. How does a prince avoid being hated? Don’t steal the property belonging to his citizens; people value their property more than their family. People sooner forget the death of their parents than the loss of the property inherited from their parents.

Ranil, the common people and your sycophants are always impressed by appearances but only a few have experienced what you really are. A prince always avoids two things: inspiring contempt and being hated. A prince will be hated as if he steals the property of people; he will be despised if he’s fickle, frivolous, and effeminate. A prince must have a clear approach to resolving issues fairly; if a prince has a standing army, he needs to know how to appear compassionate and to have integrity. A prince must surround himself with wise men—not men with firm buttocks, his callipygian cabinet—who can speak the truth to him. A common failing of mankind is never to anticipate a storm when the sea is calm. When things are going well most people think that will continue forever, but the sensible prince makes plans for downturns when things are going well, and this will give him the best chance of survival. But even then, there is one further complication: totally unexpected events like COVID which cannot be foreseen or planned for. People think such totally unexpected events are brought on by gods and goddesses. To abandon our fate to outside forces is to deny our free will. A circumspect or careful man will be best suited.

A prince would lead by example. Imagine Ranil riding a bicycle. Imagine how much money we could save if we were to seize all the vehicles that were given to the politicians and give them all tandem bicycles. So, each member can use a pimp to help him to ride his bicycle to the parliament.

We need a stable government. A republic can change its leaders. It can deploy a Winston Churchill, a fierce war like leader, when it wants and then throw him out and put in a Clement Attlee when it wants a welfare state established.

There is only one way to get out of this predicament, this quagmire. Dissolve the parliament and call for a general election. If you think you are the only person who can solve this problem, let people elect you. Your power and authority come from people. Ranil, if you can do that, you are a prince; otherwise, you are just another political pimp, or for brevity, just a pimp.

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