Matt Stajan credits NHL ‘family’ for ongoing support after son’s death
Matt Stajan credits his “second family” with helping him get through an almost incomprehensible tragedy with his first family.
“When you play hockey, there’s all these guys who you play with and it’s like your second family. Coming here with these guys, it’s been good for me,” Stajan said as his Flames prepared for the Leafs Tuesday night, almost a month after his son, Emerson, died shortly after birth in early March.
Stajan received waves of support from the NHL, players and friends as he and wife Katie dealt with the tragedy. But all professional athletes feel bound by the same unwritten code, which dictates that they return to their club within a relatively short time, even when it comes to family matters such as births and deaths.
So Stajan took a brief leave of absence but returned within the week. When he came back to the Flames, he was met with support from an organization that is well known for reaching out to its community and for taking initiatives to help others.
“Matt has been a good friend,” said Flames forward Mike Cammalleri. “I’ve known him since we were kids growing up in Toronto, he and his wife have been good friends to me and my family.
“Seeing him go through that has been tough, but like all people you love and care about, you support him and appreciate the strength he’s shown … playing hockey again has kinda been therapeutic for him.”
Support for the Stajans came in from the league, including commissioner Gary Bettman, as well as the Flames organization, from team president Brian Burke (who lost his own son tragically in an auto accident) to the coaching staff, and down to the dressing room.
Returning to Toronto on Tuesday, and having the chance to play in the city where he started his career, was another welcome step forward in returning a sense of normalcy to his life.
Stajan was traded away from the Leafs in 2010, but during the first seven years of his career, he got a chance to learn and grow under legendary leaders like Mats Sundin and Joe Nieuwendyk.
“I was fortunate to be with the group I came in here with,” Stajan said about his Leafs career.
“Those guys are in the hall of fame, and the thing you see from them is they always handled themselves with class. You get to know how to be a pro by watching them. In your first year you have all that adrenaline, but you have to learn how to play. I got to room with Joe Nieuwendyk, and Mats Sundin was always there for me. I was fortunate to have that at that time in my career.”
Stajan, 30, is now a leader and veteran in his own right, and is serving as a role model for young players to follow — an important function on a club that’s had 10 players make their NHL debuts this season.
On his return to Toronto, he preferred to take the focus away from his personal life and put it on a young Flames team that has been playing its best hockey of the season as of late. The club itself has also refrained from making any special dedications to the memory of Stajan’s son. Instead, they’ve provided all the support they could for Stajan and let the healing process take its own course.
“(I) just want to get back to playing,” Stajan said.
Even so, Stajan has long since spoken about the loss his family is dealing with; his parents have been in Calgary helping their son through the tragedy. Also, Stajan pointed to the heavens after scoring a goal on March 22, in an 8-1 win over Edmonton, and later retrieved the puck to take home with him.
“You gotta move on but you’ll remember, and it’s never easy, it won’t be easy next year, and 10 years from now it won’t be easy. In life, you take whatever is thrown at you and you move on. It’s something we’re figuring out as a family.”
